


Fear

by NerdyNygma



Category: Red vs Blue
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Injury, Longing, M/M, Mutual Pining, Surgery, Swearing, sort of, unspoken feelings, with added bits
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2018-09-25 05:54:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9805544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyNygma/pseuds/NerdyNygma
Summary: Simmons gets injured and Grif worries about him. What effect will this have on their relationship?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Comments welcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grif worries after Simmons is injured

Grif paced in front of the door to the make-shift hospital in Armonia. He was so anxious that he couldn't even stand still. He couldn't even turn to his normal coping mechanisms, like emotional eating. When he'd try to eat the food had just turned his stomach, even his beloved oreos. He groaned to himself as he crossed his arms.

Grif wondered how it had all gone so wrong...

* * *

 

Back on Hargrove's ship the Red and Blue teams had held their ground against Hargrove's forces. The bottleneck provided by the door had helped them immensely as the group had chipped away at the enemy's forces.

But like everything the group did, it had all been going too well.

It seemed that Hargrove's forces were almost done and the group had been feeling cocky when it happened...

An enemy had snuck around from behind the corner and shot at the group. The bullets had landed in Simmons abdomen in a small gap in his armour.

Time had slowed for Grif as he watched Simmons fall to the ground. He felt helpless as he watched Simmons' blood and what he assumed was oil pool underneath him. Grif remembered feeling sick as he froze, staring at Simmons.

A bullet whizzing past his head had pulled him back into the moment.

He never left Simmons' side as he killed a few more of the enemy before dropping to Simmons' level and let the others handle the rest of the enemies. Grif had pressed his hands to the wounds in a desperate attempt to stop the bleeding. Hearing the hiss of pain Simmons let out.

“Come on Simmons. Just hold on until we can get you back to Grey.” Grif said, hoping his voice wasn't shaking with the fear he felt.

After what seemed like both an eternity and mere seconds they had managed to get Simmons back to Armonia.

* * *

 

While the population of Chorus celebrated the defeat of Hargrove, Grif's focus was on the fate of his maroon friend.

Which was how he had found himself pacing in front of the hospital door. He couldn't bring himself to leave his post in case word was given about Simmons' condition. Simmons' blood had since dried on his gloves, not that Grif would ever forget the feeling or sight of Simmons' blood all over his hands.

Grif was so focused on his worry that he didn't hear the footsteps coming his way.

He jumped as a hand touched his arm.

“Hey man. Any news?” Tucker asked. Grif shook his head and stopped his pacing. Tucker felt bad for the orange soldier. As long as he had known the pair they had been pretty much inseparable. Now there was a possibility that Simmons wouldn't make it.

Grif's eyes never left the door as they stood there. Tucker felt his heart go out to the guy at the expectant look on Grif's face, like he expected to be told that Simmons hadn't made it at any second.

“You really care about him, don't you?” Tucker asked as a few things finally aligned in his head about the pair. Grif clearly hadn't been paying attention to what Tucker had been saying as he blurted out,

“I love him.”

Tucker froze as his eyes went wide. He'd figured out long ago that there was more than platonic feelings between the pair, but love? Love was something he hadn't expected. Lust sure, loneliness even but not love. Grif however didn't seem to notice that he had divulged his deepest secret.

There was silence for a few seconds before Tucker's brain caught up with him, “Dude, you love Simmons? Like love, love?”

Grif's mind finally caught up as he registered what Tucker said, “Uhh, yeah.” He replied quietly.

Before more could be said Donut came bursting out of the hospital door. “Oh hey guys. Hope you haven't been here too long. Things are getting really complicated. Dr. Grey just kicked me out but I think it was to get Doc...” Donut began rambling. “Shut up Donut.” Tucker and Grif exclaimed together.

“How's Simmons?” Grif asked, nervousness evident in his voice. “Well he's still in surgery. His cybernetic upgrade back in Blood Gulch is making the surgery a little bit more tricky than Dr. Grey is used to, so they're trying to upgrade his cybernetic parts. Won't that be cool? It'll be like Simmons 3.0...” Donut replied. Grif took a deep breath and interrupted the pink, sorry lightish-red, soldier, “Donut I really do not want to deal with your rambling right now. Go find Doc and talk his ears off.”

“Okey dokey. I'm sure Simmons will be fine. See ya later.” Donut answered as he waved at the pair before leaving them alone again.

Grif had gone stiff at the news that Simmons' surgery had been complicated by what Sarge had done to him in Blood Gulch. Guilt ran through him as he thought about how he had most of Simmons' internal organs and some of the guy's skin. What he wouldn't give to give it all back and make sure the maroon soldier was okay.

The orange solider was brought back to reality as Tucker laid a hand on his shoulder. Taking a deep breath he began to shake.

“I can't lose him.”

Tucker barely heard the whispered phrase before Grif moved over to the seating next to the door. The aqua soldier sat down to say something but it seemed Grif wasn't done and had remained standing.

“He can't die. He just can't. He doesn't get to leave me on my fucking own! Why did I have to fall in love with that loser?!” He said with increasing anger not realising that he had begun to yell.

“Woah dude. Maybe you need to calm down.” Tucker realised as soon as he said it that it was the wrong thing to say.

“Calm down! Why would I do that?! Hargrove attacks Chorus, we deal with it even though its not our fucking business. And now the love of my life may potentially die. I swear if Simmons makes it out of surgery he owes me a lifetime supply of oreos.” Grif said angry at Simmons, Hargrove, Chorus and the situation.

Plus he now really wanted some oreos.

He picked up his helmet from the chair and sat down. He released a shaky breath trying to calm himself down. With his helmet in his hands Grif was again unaware of what he was revealing to the aqua soldier in his emotion fuelled rant.

Tucker sat back and leaned his head against the wall. _'This is way too much for me. I don't do emotion. Why do people always try to talk to me about the emotional shit?'_ He thought feeling overwhelmed with the information overload.

Grif, on the other hand, was concentrating on not having a breakdown.

Silence reigned between the two men. The tension in the corridor was thick enough to cut with a knife.

Neither man was aware of how much time had passed when Grey came through the door.

The two men looked up at the young doctor.

“Oh hi. Simmons' surgery went a-okay with only some minor complications. But I was able to fix those by replacing some of those old cybernetics with some of my own. He's currently resting but you should be able to see him soon. He's in room 1.” She said, her high pitched voice sending an unpleasant shiver up the two men's backs.

And with that the young doctor left.

Silence won out again but this time it wasn't so crushing. Both men let out a sigh of relief that Simmons had made it. Tucker rested his head back against the wall while Grif let his shoulders fall as he slumped forward.

To a passer-by it would look like Grif had fallen asleep but Tucker could see the tears collecting on his eyelashes. Grif let out another sigh as he rose from his seat and put his helmet back on.

The orange soldier hesitated and Tucker couldn't help but smile to himself.

“Dude, go and see him. I'll drop by later after letting everyone know that he made it out of surgery.” Tucker said as he placed a hand on Grif's shoulder before walking away.

A couple of hours later Tucker dropped by Simmons' room and to no-one's surprise he found Grif seated in the chair next to Simmons' bed. Again sans helmet.

“Hey!” Tucker called as he threw something at Grif. Grif caught the object more on reflex than anything before looking down and seeing just what it was that Tucker had thrown at him.

A packet of oreos.

He looked up at the aqua soldier with a mix of bewilderment and gratitude. “Dude, you are a fucking life-saver. Where did you even find these?” He asked as he stuffed one into his mouth.

“Does it matter? Just know that you owe me for those. Big time.” Tucker answered as he moved to stand beside Grif.

“So...how is he?” Tucker asked. The mood in the room becoming sombre. Grif ate another oreo, the packet already half eaten before he answered, “Don't know. He hasn't woken up yet.” A moment of silence stretched between the two before being disturbed by Tucker.

“You ever gonna tell him how you feel about him?” The question slipping out before he could stop himself. Grif's head shot up to look at him, “Dude you have the worst fucking timing for questions ever?” Tucker looked at Grif, “Yeah its a gift. But don't change the subject. When are you gonna tell him you love him?”

At that Grif stood up abruptly and pushed Tucker to the other side of the room. “Could you not say shit like that out loud and especially around Simmons.” Grif said before taking a deep breath, “Look Simmons and I have a system. It's shitty and fucked up all kinds of ways but its ours. I don't intend to do anything that could ruin it. I like it exactly like it is.”

“Dude don't you want him though? Kinda goes with the whole being in love territory.” Tucker asked. Grif shook his head, “Yes I do but I also like what we have at the moment and I am not going to be the one to ruin it.” Stating it as if it was obvious.

Tucker narrowed his eyes at the orange soldier as questions raced through his mind. _'Damn they're more fucked up than I realised.'_ He thought as he sighed and moved away from Grif.

“Whatever. Just don't expect me to listen to you drunkenly go on about how much you want him because I now know how you feel about him.” Tucker said as he walked towards the door.

Grif chuckled as he returned to his seat next to Simmons. “Dude don't worry about it. You won't hear a thing from me.” The mood in the room more jovial and similar to the pair. Both having tired of the sombre mood.

Tucker hovered by the doorway and watched as Grif stuffed more oreos into his mouth as his other hand gripped Simmons' which laid still on the bed. He wondered just how long it was that Grif had felt that way about Simmons and said nothing.

It was at that moment when Simmons began to come back to consciousness. It took a few minutes but Simmons eventually opened his eyes. But not before groaning about the pain he was in. Grif stood up and their usual banter began again.

Looking at the two of them Tucker realised why Grif never said anything to Simmons. He believed that his feelings were unrequited. _'Idiots, the pair of them!'_ he thought. Seeing the two of them now it was obvious that there was more than platonic feelings between the two. He honestly had no idea how the two even functioned when their feelings were so obvious. _'Apparently obvious to everyone but them. My god what a fucking cliché.'_ He thought as he smiled and turned to walk away from the, quite frankly nauseating, scene.

A part of Tucker just wished that someone could find some happiness in the fucked up world that they lived in. Heaven's knows they deserve it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why are summaries so hard?!?! 
> 
> Anyway...A piece about Simmons getting injured and its aftermath. I know that it changes POV from Grif to Tucker early on but it felt like the right thing to do. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything. It all belongs to Rooster Teeth.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simmons waking up.

The first thing that Simmons became aware of was the pain throughout his body. Everything ached but more worryingly he found he couldn't move. No matter how hard he tried he could get his body to listen to him.

Bordering on panic he felt his breathing accelerate, then he noticed voices around him. He couldn't understand what they were saying but he did recognised them. Calming his breathing he focused on trying to decipher what the people were trying to say.

 _'You never know they may say where I am and why I hurt so much.'_ Simmons thought as he focused on the voices.

“You ever gonna tell him how you feel about him?” _'Is that Tucker?'_ Simmons pondered, confused at the topic of conversation.

“Dude you have the worst fucking timing for questions ever.” Simmons heard someone answer. It took him a few seconds to place the voice.

 _'Wait! Is that Grif?! Why are he and Tucker talking about feelings?'_ Simmons was extremely uncomfortable overhearing this conversation.

“Yeah its a gift. But don't change the subject. When are you gonna tell him you love him?” He heard Tucker ask Grif.

Simmons was stumped. _'Wait...WHAT?! Does Grif love someone? Who the hell could the arsehole have fallen for? Why didn't he tell me?'_ He wondered. He hated the doubts that plagued the back of his mind. Why had Grif trusted Tucker and not him with that information? After all Grif was his best friend not Tucker's.

Before Simmons could get too lost in his thoughts he heard movement. He realised Grif and Tucker had moved to the other side of the room and were now speaking much more quietly. So quietly in fact that he could no longer make out what they were saying.

Simmons tried to focus on not letting his emotions overwhelm him. He felt so stupid. Why had it never occurred to him that one of them could genuine fall for someone?

He had fooled himself into thinking that things would never change. Why would they? They hadn't changed since the two had met in basic so why would that change now?

Maybe it was co-dependent of him and if it was he hated it. He spent most of his time agitated or exasperated by Grif and yet he knew that deep down he didn't want to lose Grif. He was one of the few people that Simmons didn't hate being around.

He felt tears run down his temples and he hated himself for it. He didn't even understand why he was reacting that way. Or maybe he did, he just didn't want to think about or even admit to it even to himself.

Instead he focused on trying to wake up.

He began to realise feeling was to his limbs. He also felt someone grip his hand and heard a chuckle.

“Dude don't worry about it. You won't hear a thing from me.” Simmons heard Grif say, obviously replying to something Tucker had said. Simmons couldn't help but be curious about the discussion that had occurred between them that he hadn't been able to hear.

The maroon soldier felt his body ache as he tried to regain consciousness. It took several minutes and multiple attempts before he was finally able to open his eyes.

As he opened his eyes he groaned as he was blinded by the bright light in the room.

His body ached and he began to feel nauseous.

“Hey kiss-arse. About time you got up.” Grif stated as he stood up and leaned over him.

Simmons blinked up at his orange teammate the earlier conversation he had overheard now at the back of his mind. He scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Whatever fat-arse.”

Grif let go of his hand but stayed stood up, “You know it would be good if you could avoid getting killed, nerd.”

The two chuckled and Simmons answered, “Yeah I'll keep that in mind.” He fell into a coughing fit. His chest feeling heavier than usual.

Groaning he lifted his hand and held it over his chest as his coughing fit came to an end. He decided to ignore the look of concern that Grif gave him when he noticed his arm.

“WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY ARM??” The maroon soldier yelled, his eyes never leaving his arm as he turned it over to examine it. He never noticed the deep breath and sigh that Grif took in an attempt to calm himself as he remembered the stakes that were in play during Simmons' surgery.

“Apparently the bullet into your stomach did quite a bit of damage. Your robot parts were causing problems but Grey was able to repair that but not before deciding to upgrade everything as well.” Grif told Simmons, watching him examine his new arm. Grif again felt a pang of guilt because Simmons once again had to get used to new robotic parts while he was walking around complete human, although with Simmons' organs. A bit like a Frankenstein monster granted but still human.

Simmons turned his gaze to Grif and noticed the guilty look on his face. “Everything upgraded, you said.” Simmons questioned, deciding not to point out the look on Grif's face. It disturbed him and he wasn't entirely sure why.

For a moment they simply looked into each other's eyes. A moment passed between them before it was interrupted.

“Hey! I just wanted to check how Simmons was doing with his new upgrades.” Grey exclaimed as she entered the room.

The two turned to look at the doctor as Grif took a step away from Simmons.

Emily Grey smiled to herself underneath her helmet. The two men in front of her were so obvious it was almost painful to watch. She couldn't help but smile.

“Well lets see how Simmons new parts work shall we?” She asked, her normal energetic self before she stepped towards Simmons to show him the upgrades she had installed. She couldn't help but feel a little excited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to extend this from a one-shot into a multi-chapter. The chapters may take a while to come out but please bear with me. Writer's block and life can really get in the way of writing.
> 
> I'd like to thank AJB66613 for the idea to extend the fic into a multi-chapter fic.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simmons' new cybernetics and the tension grows between him and Grif.

“So your new cybernetics are made out of a prototype that Sarge and I were developing. Increased strength and dexterity, more durable and made out of a lightweight material that should make it feel just like the real thing. Exciting, right? I suspect it'll take a while for you to get used to the upgrade but ultimately you should be fine.” Dr Grey explained to Grif and Simmons.

Grif watched the doctor before shifting his gaze to Simmons who was again examining his arm.

“Wait, what about the internal cybernetics?” Simmons asked as he snapped his gaze to Dr Grey and put his arm down.

“Well funny you should say that. I had to complete replace them. How you had survived with those for so long was a miracle. How it even functioned was a mystery. Anyway, getting side-tracked... your internal parts are made of the same material as your limbs and should make breathing and digestion that much easier. How neat!” Grey answered as she picked up her scanner.

“Anyway, I should get going. Always more patients to treat and if you have any questions I'm sure to be around.” And with that the young doctor turned to leave the room.

Simmons looked down at his body.

His head snapped up and stammered, “ Wh...what about the plating on the new parts. What is it?”

Dr Grey turned and looked at Simmons for a moment, “Oh right.” She said as she shook her head and headed back towards him.

“I had to replace the original metal plating and instead used the prosthetic metal and polymer mix that we normally use here on Chorus. It's still metal but it has a protective layer to enhance its strength. It has improved durability and is waterproof. It should make life much easier. And it will look much better after your skin fully heals. So is that everything?” Dr Grey asked.

Simmons nodded his head and looked down into his lap.

With that Dr Grey nodded, “Okey dokey. As I said if you have any issues I'll be around. See ya.” Her high pitched voice sent an unpleasant shiver through the two men as she left.

Silence stretched out between the two as processed the information they had received.

Grif finished the oreos and threw the wrapper onto the counter next to Simmons' bed which grabbed Simmons' attention.

“Seriously, fat-arse. You couldn't wait to eat. And eating now. Really?!” Simmons exclaimed, although he wasn't sure what else he was expecting from Grif.

Grif flipped him off before gulping down the last oreos. “Hey cut me some slack. It's been a stressful time for me okay?” Grif replied. Simmons couldn't believe what he was hearing, “For you?! It was stressful. For you.” The maroon soldier rolled his eyes at his teammate and sighed, “Whatever fat-arse. It's not like I was the one that just went through surgery or anything.”

Grif stopped. The teasing mood changed in an instant and Grif felt guilt run through him again. The orange soldier also remembered the fear he'd felt during Simmons' surgery. The fear of losing him had petrified Grif.

' _So yes I am eating. Especially now I know you're going to be okay, arse-hole._ ' Grif thought as he glared at Simmons.

“Are you forgetting we just came back from defeating Hargrove?” He questioned nonchalantly, trying to hide how much he was affected by the situation.

Simmons shook his head and decided to drop the subject. He didn't want to be arguing with anyone right now. He knew, if anything, it would agitate his injuries and he really didn't want to stay in hospital any longer than was absolutely necessary.

He laid back down intent on resting. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Grif settled into his seat with no intention of leaving Simmons' side.

* * *

It was a week before Simmons was released from the hospital. Much of the madness around Hargrove's defeat had died down. The people of Chorus now had turned their attention to rebuilding.

Everyone had been called upon to do what they could in the aftermath.

Simmons had been given inventory to do as he was still recovering from surgery. He sat there trying to concentrate on matching the Armoury's inventory to the records. Kimball had wanted to make sure that the supplies they had matched the records.

But he was having a hard time concentrating and the task was taking far longer than it should. ' _What is wrong with me? Why can't I do this? I'm supposed to be good at this._ ' He thought, frustrated with himself.

The truth was the conversation that he had overheard between Grif and Tucker hadn't left his mind. It just kept replaying in his head throughout the week, throwing off his focus.

Simmons had been watching Grif's interactions with others to try and figure out who he could be in love with. The only issue with that approach was that Grif hadn't changed his interactions with anyone. Or maybe it was that Grif's interactions with the person he had fallen for had changed before Simmons had begun paying attention and now he couldn't tell.

Simmons felt like tearing his hair out in frustration. ' _It shouldn't be affecting me this much! Who cares if Grif has fallen in love. It's not like our friendship has changed at all_ ' Simmons pondered as he stared at his clipboard for a solid 5 minutes.

“Something interesting in those notes Simmons?”

“AHH!” Simmons yelled, spinning around to face the newcomer.

Grif stood in front of him. The maroon soldier took a few deep breaths trying to calm his heart rate.

“What are you doing here Grif?” He asked, his voice squeakier than normal.

“Dude you alright?” Grif questioned as he approached Simmons. Simmons swallowed, “Yeah, totally. Why wouldn't I be?”

Grif raised his eyebrows under his helmet at the question. “Because the pitch of your voice has changed which only happens when you're hiding something. But instead of saying what's wrong you're avoiding the issue which will inevitably lead to a fight and I'd rather avoid that. Too much hassle.” He stated as he crossed his arms and stared at his maroon friend.

Simmons stared back at his orange friend as he felt his nerves go haywire.

' _Should I tell Grif that I overheard his conversation? No I can't do that! That is such an invasion of privacy. Maybe he didn't want me to hear it. But then it did take place in my hospital room where there was a chance that I would hear it. Oh my god I can't be worrying about this. It's just Grif..._ ' Simmons was so absorbed in his own thoughts he didn't notice that Grif had approached him.

“Hey dude. You sure you're alright? Should I get Grey?” Grif asked, concerned that the surgery had done some unseen damage that was only appearing now.

“WHAT?!” Simmons practically screeched as he jumped noticing how close Grif was to him.

“No!” Simmons squeaked.

He cleared his throat, “No. I'm fine. I mean why wouldn't I be? Grey fixed me up fine. Yep. Totally fine.”

Grif stood in front of his friend confused, “Okay...” He hadn't seen Simmons like this since the makeshift base back in the crash site when he'd accused him of stealing his toothbrush.

Simmons felt himself getting increasingly flustered, “So anyway I should get back to checking inventory. Okay. See you later.”

With that Simmons escaped into the storage room of the Armoury. Grif was left standing there more confused than he had been in a long time. Simmons hadn't acted that way around him since the beginning of their friendship back in basic and the early days in Blood Gulch. ' _What the hell has gotten him so flustered?_ ' He wondered.

Shaking his head he left to find a good napping spot deciding it was better if he just let Simmons work out what was bothering him alone. The other option was too much work for Grif's liking.

* * *

Grif sat at the table shovelling food into his mouth. The incident with Simmons earlier that day kept replaying in his mind. He was confused about the entire thing. Why was Simmons acting that way? What had happened between them? Had he done something?

Tucker sat down in front of him interrupting his thoughts. “Dude what's with the look?” The aqua soldier wondered aloud as he set his tray on the table and began eating.

Grif swallowed and replied, “Don't know what you mean.” Moving to grab food off of Tucker's tray.

“Don't pull this bullshit with me. You look like someone just told you oreos were no longer being produced.” He said as he pulled his tray away from Grif's grasp as the orange soldier attempted to steal some food. He raised his eyebrows at Grif as he glared at him. Grif crossed his arms and leaned down on the table and sighed.

Silence passed between the two as Grif was reluctant to talk about his feelings. He shifted uncomfortably as Tucker continued to stare at him. “Come on dude. Did you and Simmons already have argument or something?” Tucker said chuckling. The look on Grif's face said it all, “Dude, seriously. How can you have had an fight already?”

“I don't know. I saw him earlier and he was acting weird. Tried to start an argument for some reason.” He answered. Tucker simply blinked at Grif. “So. Isn't that normal for the two of you?” He asked curious as to why Grif was so concerned about yet another argument with the maroon soldier. Grif gave him an incredulous look and shrugged.

At that moment Simmons came into the mess hall. Grif watched as Simmons got his meal. “Dude you are so fucking obvious.” Tucker chuckled. Grif turned his attention back to Tucker and flipped him off.

Simmons arrived at the table, “Am I interrupting something?” He asked as he took a seat.

Tucker and Grif stopped and turned towards him. “No. Been alright since surgery?” Tucker questioned as he took a bite of his food. Simmons felt annoyance run through him at the obvious friendliness between the two soldiers.

' _Could Tucker be the one that Grif has fallen for? Wait...what am I talking about? He was telling Grif to tell someone else how he feels. It can't be Tucker._ ' He thought as he realised just how much he didn't want Tucker to be the one that Grif had fallen for.

“Hey!” Simmons heard as he became aware of a hand being waved in his face. “Dude you alright?” Tucker asked as Grif stared at him. Simmons did notice a glance occur between Grif and Tucker.

“Um, uhh, yeah. I mean yes.” He replied focusing on his own tray. Grif's eyes hadn't moved away from Simmons.

Tucker switched his between the two Red Team members and shook his head. ' _They are so fucking obvious. I wish they would just sort their shit out already._ ' Tucker practically despaired.

Tension and awkwardness filled the air as the conversation petered out and they ate their meal in silence.

' _What the hell is going on with Simmons?_ ' Grif thought as he finished his meal and kept sneaking glances at Simmons. Although he'd never admit out loud but he was worried about his best friend.

His confusion heightened at the turn in Simmons' behaviour towards him since his surgery. He couldn't think of anything that had happened between the two that could have caused the change in behaviour.

He didn't know where it had come from. But dealing with it took more effort than he was willing to exert. He just hoped that it resolved itself quickly so that they could move on from whatever Simmons was going through.

Little did the Red Team pair realise that the tension between the two was driving everyone else nuts and they too hoped that the situation would resolve soon.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things come to a head between Grif and Simmons

The tension between Grif and Simmons continued as time continued to pass in Chorus as the colony attempted to re-establish itself. 

Safe to say it was driving everyone nuts.

Every time Grif and Simmons were in the same room there was an odd awkwardness that hadn't been present before Simmons' surgery. It usually resulted in an argument between the two. 

Grif was also beginning to get sick of it because he didn't know what it was they were even arguing about most of the time. It was way too taxing for the lazy soldier and he just wanted things to go back to how they had been before. He could handle Simmons bitching at him, he had done for years but the constant arguing was ridiculous.

He sat in one of his napping spots and took a drag of a cigarette. 

What was going on with Simmons was bothering him more than he let on. Not that he showed it openly. He hated that he was out of the loop and had no idea what was really going on. As a result he'd started to avoid Simmons in an attempt to avoid the inevitable fight they would have.

Little did he know that keeping his distance was making things worse.

Simmons on the other hand was continuing to freak out. _'Why does it bother me so much that Grif has feelings for someone?'_ He thought feeling like pulling his hair out. No matter what he did those thoughts kept coming back. 

Deep down he knew why it bothered him but he would never admit, not even to himself.

One thing he was willing to admit was that Grif was one of the few people he could say he was close to. Even if they had been forced together through circumstances and Grif wasn't someone he ever would have become friends with otherwise. The Red Team had developed dynamics that Simmons was comfortable with and he didn't want that to change. Throughout the years and even with the time they had sent apart their dynamics had largely remained the same.

And Simmons hated change.

But he also knew it was unavoidable, not that he had to like it.

Deep down he feared losing the few friends he had made. He'd struggled making friends as it was and he really didn't want to have to try and make a new best friend. But then knowing Grif he wasn't sure that Grif would actually put in the effort to make a move on whoever it was he had feelings for.

The thoughts messed with his head as he made his way to the armoury.

He stopped suddenly when he saw that the only person in the armoury was Grif. The orange soldier turned around at the sound of footsteps, “Sup?”

Simmons took a shuddering breath and headed towards the desk. “What are you hear for Grif?” He asked, it coming out much harsher than he intended. Grif braced himself for yet another argument and crossed his arms.

“What the fuck is your problem Simmons?” Grif asked exasperated. Simmons crossed his arms and glared at Grif but their visors got in the way so Grif couldn't see it, “What the hell are you talking about Grif?” Pretending he didn't know that he and Grif had arguing lately which had been mostly instigated by him.

“Cut it out Simmons” Grif barked. The orange soldier really had had enough of whatever was Simmons' problem. Simmons took a step back feeling the anger radiate off of Grif. An occurrence so rare he couldn't remember the last time it had happened.

“Wha...what...I mean...I don't know...I...” He stammered trying to form coherent sentences. Grif ignored him and walked around the desk and stood right in front of Simmons.

“Seriously Simmons. I'd liked to be informed of what it is exactly that you seem to have a problem with. You've been picking fights since you were released from hospital and I'm sick of it. So let me ask you again. What. Is. Your Problem?” He argued. 

Simmons had never liked to be called out on his bullshit as he felt his own anger flair up. “Me?! What the fuck is your problem? You're the one that argues back. Besides it's not normal for us.” Simmons argued attempting to deflect. He felt like it was hitting too close to the issue and knew if the argument continued for much longer he'd end up saying something he'd probably regret. 

Grif barked out a laugh and shook his head, “You're the one that starts the arguments nerd. Seriously I'm sick and tired of it. It's getting real boring just arguing all the time and is cutting into valuable napping time.”

Simmons glared at Grif again, lost in the intensity of the argument and yelled, “Real surprise there! It's all you ever do! But I'm not the one that changed things! You are!”

Grif felt more confused than before and yelled back, “Oh really! How did I fucking do that huh?! You've been avoiding me when you've not been yelling at me so I don't see how I'm to blame for this!”

Simmons turned around and grabbed the clipboard ready to actually start his job. “Yes really. It's all you. You're the one that changed things. Or at least they will once you're with the person you have feelings for.” He said fuming as he looked down at his clipboard.

In that moment Grif felt like the wind had been knocked out of him and his anger all but disappeared. “What?” He asked meekly. His mind reeling from what Simmons had just said.

Grif cleared his throat as Simmons noticed the lack of shouting and tensed up, realising what it was he had just said. “What do you mean 'the person I have feelings for'? Where did you hear that? Simmons?” He inquired reminding himself to not get his hopes up and the direction of this conversation.

Simmons remained frozen in place and refused to look at Grif. He could barely get words out of his mouth, mortified that he had let that information slip.

“I mean...I don't...It wasn't...Nowhere.” He whispered hoping Grif wouldn't push it further.

Grif tilted his head in an attempt to get Simmons to look at him. His mind buzzing trying to figure out where Simmons could have heard that he had fallen for someone. Well, someone other than him. He felt his breath stop for a moment when he realised...the only place Simmons could have heard anything like that.

The hospital.

The conversation between himself and Tucker in Simmons' room.

Grif felt his heart begin to race realising that Simmons must have been waking up when that conversation had occurred.

He wondered just how much Simmons had heard.

He took a deep breath and asked, “How much of the conversation did you hear? Between me and Tucker I mean.” 

Simmons' spine went rigid and he felt panic rising in him. “Umm...well...uhh,” Simmons really didn't want to have this conversation. Emotion was something that red team members didn't do. At least not so explicitly.

He looked around searching for a way out. 

Grif sighed as Simmons cleared his throat, “Umm, well, you know, I think I hear Jensen asking for me. So, yeah, I'm just going to...” He stuttered and fled the armoury, his voice squeaky.

Grif bowed his head and sighed before picking up one of the guns from the table in front of him. “Yeah. Real convincing there Simmons.” He said knowing Simmons couldn't hear him. 

“What. The. Fuck. Just. Happened?” He asked himself shaking his head as he left the armoury. Grif dreaded what he knew was going to come next. He was going to have to make a choice. Either try and ignore what was going on and convince Simmons he had it all wrong. Or he was going to have to figure out a way to confess.

_'Fucking great. Just what I need. God. Fucking. Dammit. This is taking up way too much energy. Time for a nap.'_ Grif thought as he made his way to one of the few remaining undiscovered nap spots he had. He certainly had a lot to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't entirely happy with this chapter. I've had a bit of writer's block about the direction of this chapter. I think I know the direction of this story so hopefully I can finish it.
> 
> Also season 15 of RVB has been brilliant so far. I have thoroughly enjoyed it. I can't believe they heavily implied that Grif and Simmons had sex in a storage closet. I'm glad to see them take a step in their relationship and am excited to see how they deal with that and how it affects their friendship and if it leads to more than that in canon.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reds and Blues get some exciting news.

The tension never really went away between Grif and Simmons.

In an attempt to ease the tension Kimball had assigned Grif and Simmons to different tasks that were in completely separate locations. It was a temporary solution but things were certainly a lot calmer with the two being too busy to argue.

The rebuilding of Chorus was going well and it was now clearly an inhabited planet. The infrastructure of Chorus had been the first things to be built. Hospitals, roads, homes and schools were among the first sites to be developed. However there was the problem of re-population. People were still weary of doing anything that required long term commitment.

Another problem was how to show the Reds and Blues the gratitude they deserved. Kimball had, had an idea and had put steps into place for what she hoped would be a pleasant surprise. It was the least she could do for the heroes of the planet. But first she needed their help again.

* * *

The Reds and Blues gathered in Kimball's new office. She had called them there to hand out more tasks.

As the group stood waiting for Kimball Grif couldn't help but glance towards Simmons. Things were still tense between them and had become increasingly awkward. Grif still didn't know how to approach Simmons about his feelings. How could he do that and not look or feel like a complete idiot? He didn't even know if Simmons felt the same way or if his weirdness was a result of something else. He almost didn't want to find out.

Simmons on the other hand shifted uncomfortably. He was glad that Kimball had separated him and Grif recently. He still wasn't sure how to deal with the knowledge about Grif's feelings or why it bothered him so much. Why did he care so much? He almost wished that he had never overheard the conversation so that things could have stayed normal between them.

The groups attention was brought to the door as Kimball entered the room.

“Apologises for my lateness. Let's get started shall we?”

Everyone nodded and gathered around Kimball's desk. “I...well Chorus wanted to thank you for your help defeating Charon Industries and the Chairman. I am also aware that you said that you were done after what happened to Epsilon.”

A silence filled the room. The loss of Epsilon-Church was still fresh and hurt. Kimball cleared her throat.

“Well, I know that you have made it very clear that you would like a break...”

“You mean we're done. We told you we're done.”

“Tucker.”

Tucker turned to face Washington expecting a lecture. Washington crossed his arms and shook his head. Kimball took a deep breath.

“Yes. Well, Chorus has been organising something for you all...”

“Oh my god! A present! I love presents!” Caboose took a step forward and even looked around for a few moments to see if he could see anything. He began to almost bounce with excitement.

“I know that you asked for space and that what we tried to give you with this. We found an uninhabited moon and I've had groups sent to build some homes for you. We've built them the best we could. It was the least we could do after everything that you've done for us.”

A surprised silence filled the room and Kimball began to feel nervous. Carolina was the first to speak up.

“Let me get this straight, you found a moon for us to go to and have built houses there for us.”

Kimball nodded, “Yes. You said you wanted privacy and we listened. The moon should give you all the privacy and relaxation you want.”

There was a pause before she was crowded by them all. Excited shouts and voices flooded over her, making her hear only the occasional word or phrase. The nerves left as the Reds and Blues seemed happy with Chorus' gift to them.

“Awesome! When do we leave?”

“Tucker.”

“What?”

Kimball chuckled as she took a step away from them.

“You only need to say when. Unfortunately though I must first ask for your help again.”

“What could you possibly want that requires our help?”

“Well, not everyone. Just Tucker.”

“What? Why me?”

“Your sword. You see the re-building of Chorus is going well but the population levels remain low. There's a worry that the population may continue to decline as people are still worried about potential dangers. Because of this people are hesitant to have children but that is the much needed next step for Chorus. I have spoken with almost everyone on Chorus and it's been agreed that the Temple of Procreation needs to be activated to counteract with this issue.”

“Okay. I'll help. Just tell me when.”

“Are we sure this is a good idea?” 

“Bow-chicka-bow-wow.”

Everyone turned and looked at Simmons at his question, making him shift uncomfortably. Kimball cleared her throat and attention returned to her.

“I have personally spoken to everyone about any concerns and am holding a group meeting later this afternoon if you all would like to attend. After the temple does it's work you are all free to leave to see the moon.”

“Okay. Sounds like a plan.”

With that the Reds and Blues followed Carolina out of the office. Kimball let out a sigh of relief. Hopefully the plan worked and the Reds and Blues could get what they wanted. They could only hope nothing went wrong and stopped this from happening.

* * *

Walking away from Kimball's office the Reds and Blues were excited. They could feel it in the air around them.

They were finally going to get the chance to retire. No more fighting. No more running for their lives. No more crazy enemies. It almost seemed too good to be true. They would finally get the opportunity to relax and not worry about if they were about to die. Everyone was throwing out ideas about their new homes, what they would do during retirement. It didn't even bother them that they had to another mission to do. One more and they were free.

Simmons walked behind the group though. He wasn't exactly feeling the excitement. While he was glad that they would done with the fighting and near-death experiences, something nagged at him. He was nervous about the possible side effects of the Temple of Procreation.

“Yo Simmons. What's up?”

The maroon soldier looked up at Grif's questions and noticed that everyone was now staring at him.

“Oh...um...nothing. Just trying to actually believe that we're actually going to get a break.”

He really hoped his voice didn't sound as squeaky to the others as it did to him. He also hoped they would drop it. But he wasn't that lucky.

“You were excited before what happened?” Grif crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. He knew instantly what had caused Simmons' nerves to skyrocket.

“You worried about this temple we have to activate? You are, aren't you?!”

Simmons felt his face go red. “Well, you never know the consequences of ancient alien technology. We don't know what could happen if we activate it.”

The silence that followed spoke volumes. No-one was buying what Simmons was saying.

“What?! It's genuine concern. I'm not a prude. I know what activating the temple would mean.”

Another pause occurred before the group moved on to the meeting Kimball was holding with the other residents of Chorus to explain what was going to happen. Simmons still felt uncomfortable. He may be a virgin but he really wasn't a prude. It just made him nervous that there was a possibility that under the influence of the temple he could lose his virginity to a stranger. He knew it was ridiculous but the nagging thought wouldn't leave his mind. He had thought about losing his virginity but it had never been under the influence of an alien temple.

He sighed and followed the group towards the meeting point that Kimball had designated for the meeting. He tried to pause his nerves down and focus on the fact that they were finally going to get to retire. Finally a chance to relax.

He just hoped that nothing went wrong between then and not to hinder it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally releasing another chapter. Writer's block is such a pain. Hopefully the next chapter will be out sooner. I will definitely try.
> 
> I couldn't not include season 15 in this story. I enjoyed it a lot and definitely enjoyed the red team development. Not everything will be included as I will be focusing on Grif and Simmons but it will be interesting to see where this story goes.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simmons' fears are realised

The meeting was short as people had already agreed to the activation of the temple. Anticipation was thick in the air as the suspected consequences of the temple were explained to the crowd.

Simmons grew increasingly uncomfortable at the realisation that this was really going to happen. A temple was going to be activated that was going to turn everyone into sex-crazed lunatics. He was already creating plans in his head to avoid everyone and lock himself away in his room.

He just needed supplies to get him through this.

He refocused on the room and noticed that people were beginning to disperse. To his dismay he had missed the details of the mission as he'd planned his 'alone time'. Simmons hesitantly followed the other Reds and Blues as they made their way to the garage and hoped that someone would go over the plan again.

Once there, they split into their respective teams before Sarge turned and thankfully went over the plan.

“Everyone know the plan. Tucker, you and the Blues go to the temple. Red Team, we'll be leading the way and making sure the coast is clear.”

Everyone nodded and got into two jeeps. Red Team led the way but the way was clear of pirates, leaving them as escorts for Blue Team. Sarge didn't hide his grumbling about that.

Everyone stood outside the temple and simply stared at it.

“So...Should we go in?”

Everyone looked at Washington and he shrugged, “Might as well get this over with.”

Everyone nodded and seemed to fall out of the trance they had been in since arriving at the temple minutes before. “Anyone know which way to go?” All eyes turned to Tucker as they entered the temple.

Carolina took the lead, “It can't be that difficult to find. Santa said the layout for this temple was the same as the others.”

It took a couple of minutes but just as Carolina had said, the centre of the temple was easy to find. Tucker got out his sword and stood in front of the lock.

“I see you were able to find the core without trouble.” Santa's voice rang out as he appeared beside the lock making everyone jump.

“Fucking hell dude. Don't just appear like that.” Tucker said as he picked the sword back up. Santa nodded, “I apologise.” Everyone knew he would continue to simply appear out of nowhere though.

Simmons cleared his throat, “Umm, Santa, w-what happens once we activate the temple?”

“I do not know how our technology will effect your biology but the original plans were that once activated the temple would cause the inhabitants to strongly desire to procreate.” Simmons could feel himself go red underneath his helmet, “Umm, I meant would the effects be immediate? Or is there a slight delay? Would we have time to get back to Armonia or not?” Santa paused as he considered Simmons' questions. “I believe that there will be a delay in the effects as it has to spread across the entire planet and to affect your systems. Whether that means you have time to return to your settlement I do not know.”

Everyone shook their heads at this new information. Tucker stepped forward and activated his sword. Anticipation and apprehension filled the air as he did so. He passed his sword through the lock and everyone felt a pulse go through them as the temple activated.

“Anyone feel any different?” Tucker had felt the pulse but didn't feel anything else. On the other hand the others had begun to feel...something. Their body temperatures went up and they began to feel uncomfortable.

“Let's get back before the effects really kick in.” Everyone nodded at Carolina's suggestion. There was clearly a strain in Carolina's voice and everybody was distracted. The drive back to Armonia was silent as the effects became more apparent and stronger.

Upon arriving they quickly made their way out of the garage where people were already making out. As they exited the garage a group of women walked by and winked at Tucker as they passed. Tucker watched the women leave and almost tripped over his own feet. Before anyone could comment he turned around and broke away from the group, “You know what, I'm going to go and see if Palomo is alright.” No-one questioned it as Tucker left.

Caboose groaned and bent over, “I don't feel so good.” Washington turned towards Caboose and saw that Tucker had disappeared. He looked at the others and sighed, “Why don't you all go off...somewhere else. I'll tell Kimball that the activation of the temple was successful.” Everyone nodded and walked away.

Simmons walked away at a brisk pace and avoided looking at all the couples. He knew he wasn't going to make it to his room as he had planned. Instead he looked for somewhere isolated. He passed a closed door and grabbed the handle. He pulled it open and found it to be a storage closet. He stepped inside and closed the door, shutting out all light. He felt along the wall and switched the light on. Simmons took off his armour as he began to sweat. Looking down he saw he was hard and ached all over.

He slid down the wall and wrapped his arms around his knees. He was determined to get through the effects of the temple alone. He just hoped it wouldn't last long. He lost himself in his thoughts and his hand slowly reached down to between his knees. But before he could do anything the door swung open.

Simmons blinked as the corridor light flooded the storage closet. Grif stepped in and stopped, surprised to see someone else in his favourite napping spot. The door swung shut behind him and clicked. Grif and Simmons simply stared at each other for what felt like forever. The light then buzzed and flickered drawing their attention away from each other. That was the first time Grif noticed that Simmons was only in his under-suit.

Simmons also realised he was only in his under-suit, with Grif, in a small confined space. He had always had body image problems which had only worsened once he became a cyborg. He stood up on shaking legs and picked up his armour and reached for the door. He pulled at the handle and it only wobbled. He tried again after dropping his armour.

“Grif?” It was the first thing said between the two. Both were feeling the effects more now and tension had begun to fill the small room.

“Did the door lock behind you?” Simmons didn't want to turn around as he heard Grif taking his armour off and drop it to the floor. Grif shrugged as he turned to face Simmons, who still had his back to him. “Probably. It has a habit of doing that. Good excuse if anyone asks why I missed training.”

Simmons turned around and blushed seeing Grif in his under-suit. “But, but we can't stay in here. What about the effects of the temple?”

Grif shrugged again, “Dude, what do you want me to do? The door locked. Besides we've known each other for how long? We can pretend this never happened after we leave this room. Deal?” Grif stuck out his hand at Simmons. He simply looked at it before reaching out and shaking Grif's hand, “Deal.”

Neither knew who started it but in seconds Simmons was against the wall and they were kissing. Neither could believe that they were locking lips. Finally.

Simmons would never admit to anyone but he had wondered, on lonely nights, what it would be like to feel Grif's lips against his own. He reached up and ran his fingers through Grif's hair and responded as Grif changed the angle of the kiss, deepening it.

Grif couldn't believe his luck. He was finally kissing Simmons. Granted it was under the effects of an alien temple but he was finally kissing the man he had been pining over for years. He was going to savour this while he could. It might be the only chance he gets. Plus Simmons looked good in his under-suit. A small part of his brain hoped that this wouldn't be the only time he got this close to Simmons.

Both let the effects of the temple take over their senses and gave into their deepest desires for each other.

* * *

Hours later the effects of the temple had worn off, leaving everyone was disorientated for a few minutes wondering what had happened. Except for Tucker who seemed to be unaffected by the temple. For Grif and Simmons they lay on the floor of the storage closet breathing heavily and avoiding looking at each other.

Simmons was mortified. He had just lost his virginity to Grif. It was enjoyable, more so than he had imagined it ever would be but it wasn't how he'd wanted it to happen. He would never admit to it but he was secretly a romantic. He wanted the romance and affection, heck to be in a relationship when he became intimate with someone. But that didn't mean he had never thought about doing all of that with Grif.

He had never allowed himself to imagine anything more than kissing between him and Grif. He was also panicking about what this meant for their friendship. His anxiety flared up at the thought that what they had done had ruined their friendship. He stood up quickly, put on his under-suit and armour and stood in front of the locked door.

Grif, on the other hand, couldn't believe his luck. He had finally managed to get somewhere with Simmons. But behind his elation at the turn of events was worry. He knew that Simmons had terrible anxiety and was likely to freak out over what had happened. He saw movement out of the corner of his eye and watched as Simmons got dressed and stood with his back to him. Grif would never admit it out loud but his actions hurt.

He stood up and dressed as well. Awkwardness descended over the room. Grif rocked back on his feet, “So...”

Simmons stiffened, “Please don't.”

Grif stopped rocking and watched Simmons, conflicted. On the one hand he wanted to talk about what happened, on the other he didn't want to because he may lose Simmons. That was the one thing he feared most. It hurt more than he was willing to admit. Maybe what had happened was only due to the effects of the temple. Maybe Simmons didn't have any feelings towards him. Maybe everything between them was ruined now. He swallowed and moved to the other side of the storage closet and leaned against the wall, folding his arms.

Simmons was internally freaking out. Maybe what had happened between them was only due to the temple. Simmons didn't want to lose Grif but he didn't know how to deal with what had happened. Plus what about Grif's feelings. The conversation that he had overheard ran through, ' _You ever gonna tell him how you feel about him?_ ' There was no way that those words were meant for Simmons. Even if a treacherous part of his heart hoped that what had happened indicated that Grif's feelings were directed towards him.

Simmons copied Grif's position on the other side of the storage closet and waited.

Silence descended over the two. Neither knew what to say as the awkwardness grew. The time seemed to pass slowly as the two of them tried to deal with what had happened between them and what it meant for the future.

After an undetermined amount of time the door handle wobbled and opened to reveal Caboose.

“Oh my god! What are you two doing in here?”

The two briefly looked at each other before turning their attention back to Caboose, “We got locked in because the door closed in behind us. Is everything okay Caboose?” Simmons asked as he stepped forward and exited the storage closet.

“Yes. Everything is back to normal. I was told to find Grif and to tell you to meet everyone at the dining room.”

“You mean the mess hall.” Grif replied as he exited the closet as well.

“Yes there. Come on, let's go.” With that Caboose walked away. Simmons turned looking between Grif and Caboose, “Hey Caboose. Wait there. I'm go with you.”

As he walked away he turned and saw Grif walking away. He knew that Grif would most likely miss the meeting. He met up with Caboose and went to the mess hall to meet the others. Simmons just hoped that what had happened hadn't ruined his friendship with Grif. He didn't want to lose Grif. He just hoped that they could move passed this.

Why did he have to right this time? Why did something have to go wrong?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the long wait for this chapter. Motivation to write was very low recently. With the new season of RvB coming out I got a boost of writing inspiration. So excited for the new season!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reds and Blues adjust to life in rertirement

Things after the ‘temple incident’ were awkward to put it mildly. No one really knew how to react to what had happened. For many couples it hadn’t had an impact. For others it got solved the issue of taking the next step. For those who weren’t in a relationship it was a bit trickier to deal with. Some people decided to become a couple while others tried to navigate what it had all meant for their friendships. For some it meant avoiding certain people all together.

Grif and Simmons had taken another option of pretending that the entire incident hadn’t occurred.

Neither knew how to deal with what had happened. For Grif it was like a dream. He finally had the man of his dreams within his reach and lost him. For Simmons he saw it as the potential end to the only relationship that really matters to him. Safe to say neither were dealing with it particularly well.

Luckily there was their move to the moon base to take their minds off of it.

“Sarge why do you need this many weapons? We’re going into retirement.” Grif asked as he watched Simmons and Donut lift cases onto the ship. Sarge, who was doing the same as Grif, bristled, “You never know what kind of enemies we could meet on this moon. We have to be prepared.”

Grif sighed, ‘ _Great. He’s looking for a fight. We’re going into retirement and he wants to find more enemies to fight._ ’ Why did his life have to be like this? He just hoped that the moon base did actually offer some relaxation. They were all overdue a break and all of them deserved one. Hopefully no one ruined it.

While Grif and Sarge were arguing Simmons glared at them while he continued loading up the ship. Why did he always get left with the heavy lifting and Donut’s innuendo filled company. Eventually the ship was loaded and the Reds and Blues were flying to the moon base.

Excitement filled the ship as the group neared their destination.

“Caboose sit down. We’re about to land.” Washington called as he and the others buckled up for landing. Caboose turned towards his teammates, “Okay.”

It wasn’t long before the ship touched down and disembarked.

As they looked around they couldn’t believe their eyes. Green hills and grassland all around them. There were crystal clear lakes and blue skies as far as we the eye could see. The smell of fresh grass, distant trees and seaweed filled the air. But the scenery came in second to the accommodation that Kimball had built. Chorus had gifted them five star apartments with their own suites. One for Red team and one for Blue team and the Freelancers. Kimball and the rest of Chorus had even attempted to design each suite according to the Reds and Blues personalities and interests.

“This is awesome!” Tucker exclaimed as he exited the Blue team apartment building, “Seriously it’s got everything I could want or need. Well, apart from the cute girls.” Everyone rolled their eyes at Tucker’s antics but agreed with the sentiment.

“I agree this is fantastic but let’s try to enjoy this. I think we’ve more than earned it. Especially after…” Washington didn’t finish the sentence and everyone’s thoughts turned to Church. The loss was still fresh and the wounds would take a while to heal. There was a moment of silence before they all went to investigate their respective rooms.

The first night in a new place is always the hardest and it was true for the Reds and Blues. No one really slept, too pent up from the excitement of retiring and getting the chance to finally relax. It almost seemed too good to be true.

The first month was spent getting to know their new homes and enjoying the downtime.. They learned what was in their new rooms and apartment blocks. They didn’t venture out much. The second month they took to exploring the area…That’s when they found the dinosaurs. Large, scary, hungry dinosaurs.

They spent weeks trying to avoid being eaten. When Caboose somehow made friends with the dinosaurs. It seemed there wasn’t a life-form, even some artificial life-forms, that existed that Caboose couldn’t make friends with. While trying to figure out a way to deal with the dinosaurs, a disaster struck. Donut had managed to burn down not one but both bases. They pretty much lost everything.

The group salvaged what they could and made a make-shift base which became their new home. They carried the remains of their property and organised themselves as they always had. Reds and Blues in separate areas. Although there now was a strict ban on all candles inside or close to the base.

But the Reds and Blues quickly realised they had two major problems.

One: they were very low in supplies like food. Two: they had very little money to restock.

As desperation set in the group decided to sell their story and its movie rights to Hollywood in an attempt to make some cash. And it worked. Sort of.

After receiving the money the team didn’t do the logical thing and rebuild their bases, oh no. They decided to build a water park. And build Freckles a new body.

And still Donut was able to burn down the water park. After an accident involving lube. How he managed it no one knew.

With nothing else to entertain them as their endeavours burned in front of them, they decided to start a band. With Carolina singing the lead. At least she was having fun.

Sarge on the other hand was still upset about having to give up the soldier’s life. He still grumbled that he hadn’t died a heroic death of Chorus so he decided to create his own enemy. By building an army of evil robots. As with anything involving them it went wrong. The robots malfunctioned and instead of attacking them, attacked the dinosaurs. That was a sight none of them would ever forget. Once again without an enemy Sarge decided to fight something that would lead to a never-ending war. An enemy that could never be bested and the fight going. His enemy…gravity.

After Sarge had attempted to reinstate the Red vs Blue war the group had decided that they needed to create some sort of order in their chaotic world. After debating about which political system was best. Surprising everyone, Caboose’s option of malarkey won. Meaning that nothing changed really.

Speaking of Caboose he managed to fall into another dimension that for some reason had a gateway on the moon. He called it the ‘dark place’ and for some reason really enjoyed himself there. But then this was Caboose and no one was really surprised that this ha happened to him.

They had even thought that Donut had died for a short period. They even buried him. Turned out he was skinny dipping in the lake. No one understood why they kept having to remind Donut to put on clothes. They had all seen more of Donut then they had ever wanted to.

The craziness of their new home kept everyone busy. Even Carolina had gotten in on the action and was trying to learn how to relax. She also couldn’t seem to get over the fact that Washington had grown a beard. It wasn’t out of the ordinary to find her playing with Wash’s beard. He didn’t seem to mind though but did complain how itchy it was. Simmons even took the time to learn Esperanto. The benefit of this was that everyone was too busy to deal with the fallout of the ‘temple incident’. This worked out fine for Grif and Simmons.

The two sim troopers always avoided the topic of Chorus and focused on whatever was happening on the moon base. It was easier that way than dealing with the emotions.

It had even allowed them the opportunity to return to some semblance of normalcy. Their previous banter made a comeback and spending time together became a little easier. Grif had even managed to convince Simmons that Game of Thrones had really happened. Grif chuckled to himself as he thought about that. But even then moments of tension would arise when glances lasted a bit too long or they got too close. At that point the awkwardness returned.

Grif sat cross legged on the floor as he attempted to teach Carolina how to enjoy doing nothing. As he relaxed his mind wandered. He soon fell asleep. His dreams were filled with the memories of moans and pleasure. Reliving what had happened in the store closet allows Grif to imagine what being with Simmons would be like. However his dreams were never pleasant for long. Soon the memories of blood splatter and fear took over the pleasure. What once had been nightmares about the doomed colony he’d first been stationed on, now turned to Hargrove’s ship. The memories of Simmons bleeding of the floor and the fear of losing Simmons became the focus of any dreams he had.

And he hated it. It was exhausting dealing with all the emotions and Grif just wanted to go back to the way things were before. They had a system. He enjoyed their system. Why did it have to change?

The awkwardness between the two seemed to increase with each passing day. They tried to ignore it. The others tried to ignore it. But it was obvious something was wrong. They attempted to go back to the way things had been before but it wasn’t working.

Small, casual touches that lasted a little too long, glances and looks that encompassed entire conversations and little to no personal space between the two now became awkward and tense. Where once these would have been normal now they were glaring neon signs that what was between them was more than friendship. And neither knew what to do about it.

Luckily the events on the moon base had kept everyone occupied enough that the ‘temple incident’ wasn’t on their minds too often.

One night Grif sat leaning against the cliff face and stared at the stars. Nights were always the hardest. Nothing to occupy his mind which allowed it to wander to things he really didn’t want to think about.

And that is how Tucker found him.

The aqua soldier sighed as he approached, not sure if Grif knew he was there or not. He kind of felt bad for the guy. He had the guy he loved within his grasp and lost him. It was still painful to watch the orange and maroon sim troopers dance around each other. He really hoped they could figure it out or they were going to die alone because they were stubborn or scared or, or… something.

“Dude, you alright?”

The question brought Grif out of his thoughts. He scowled at Tucker and stood up, “What do you want Tucker?” He folded his arms, defensive.

“Hey! I’m just trying to be nice. You’ve been acting weird since before we left Chorus. It got got anything to do with you and…”

“Stop it Tucker! I really don’t want to talk about this. Especially not with you.” Grif interrupted and looked around, refusing to look at Tucker. Tucker held his hands up defensively,

“Really dude, what’s your problem? I’m trying to help you. Do you know how painful it is for the rest of us to watch you and Simmons dance around each other. I thought you would be happy that the temple gave you the push you needed to finally admit your feelings for each other and do something about it. Like seriously, what did he do? Reject you or something? Because this should have been the push you guys needed.” Tucker’s speech to Grif just made him uncomfortable. Too much of it hit way too close to home. Grif’s heart ached at the memory of what had happened once the effects of the temple had worn off.

Tucker watched Grif’s reaction expecting a snarky response, or any response but he got nothing. Grif simply stood there silent, refusing to look at him. Tucker’s stomach dropped, ‘ _Shit. What did Simmons say to him after the temple? These idiots have been in love for as long as I’ve known them. These no way that Simmons would…_ ’ Tucker thought as an awkward silence stretched on between the two.

“Well, shit.” Tucker muttered to himself as he took a step forward.

“Dude…”

“Don’t.”

Grif hated how his voice sounded. He was not going to get emotional over this. Not again, dammit!

He took a deep breath and faced Tucker. “Well, that sucks. Sure it’s not just you two being emotionally constipated again?” Tucker asked, attempting to lighten the mood.

“Look it’s really not my place or area of expertise…”

“You don’t say.” Grif said rolling his eyes. Tucker just huffed.

“Just shut up and listen would you?! You two need to figure this out. As you said he’s the love of your life and they two do you are going to die alone if you don’t grow a pair and talk this out.” Tucker advised. Grif stared at him. He knew he needed to do something but the risk of losing Simmons for good was not a risk he was not willing to take. Realising he wasn’t going to get a response Tucker clapped a hand onto Grif’s shoulder and walked away.

Tucker shook his head as he made his way to the base. Only Grif and Simmons could make getting together the most difficult thing in the world. He wanted to bang their heads together. Only Grif and Simmons could forced to act on their feelings for each other by an aliens temple after years of pining after one another and come to the conclusion that the other must have feelings for someone else. If he wasn’t seeing it happen in front of him he never would have believed it.

As he entered he passed Carolina who was making her way towards Grif.

As she reached him she watched for a few seconds. It was only in moment where the sim troopers thought they were alone did they drop their guard. Her heart went out to Grif. It was obvious that his feelings for Simmons went beyond the platonic. She had hoped that they would figure it out on their own but that didn’t appear to be the case.

“Hey Grif.” She called out as she approached. Grif turned surprised to see someone else at this time.

“Uhh, Carolina what are you doing here?” He was still confused as to why she was looking for him now. Carolina smiled beneath her helmet. She had grown to care for this ragtag group of sim troopers and wanted to help. As she had told Washington before they fought Felix and Locus, they were a family now and she would do anything for them.

“You alright?” She asked, pointedly ignoring Grif’s question causing more confusion.

“Uhh, yeah.” Grif replied still not sure where this was going. Carolina stepped closer and put her hands on her hips, tilting her head, “You sure about that? You’ve not been acting yourself for a while.”

Grif sighed at Carolina’s observations. ‘ _Great. If she’s noticed that means everyone knows._ ’ Grif was not looking forward to this conversation. The advice from Tucker was already swirling around in his head.

“You know, you really can’t be afraid of moving forward. I was and ended up losing someone very important to me. Don’t let that happen to you Grif. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life.” Carolina said as she thought of York. He was probably her biggest regret. She wished that she could go back and tell him how she really felt, give them the chance that had always seemed to allude them. She knew how much that hurt and she didn’t want to see that happen to anyone else.

“Come on, let’s get some sleep and tomorrow you can teach me all about switching your brain off.” She suggested as she chuckled and started to head back to the base. Grif follows closely behind silently.

He had known that Carolina had lost people but he didn’t realise that she could have been in the same boat as him. He didn’t know what to do with this information. Nor did he know what to do with the impromptu advice he had been given by Tucker and Carolina. But Carolina was right he needed some sleep, he could think about this all tomorrow.

Simmons watched from the first floor of the base as Grif and Carolina entered. Ever since Carolina had asked Grif to teach her how to relax they had been growing closer. And it left an uncomfortable feeling in his chest.

His stomach tied itself into knots whenever he saw them together. He left out and didn’t know what to do about it. ‘ _Is Carolina the one that Grif and Tucker talked about in the hospital? No she can’t be. Tucker said ‘_ him _’ in regards to the person Grif has feelings for. But what if he were covering for Grif? No that hasn’t been an issue since the 21_ _st_ _century…_ ’ Simmons’ thoughts continued to circle as he stood under the night sky.

He was still trying to figure out who Grif had fallen for. Ever since ‘that incident’ Simmons mind had constantly and unhelpfully trying to rationalise that fact with what had happened between them.

He hated the way all this made him feel. It felt like high school all over again. Not sure what the appropriate social actions were, the awkwardness when you did it wrong and the distance between you and the person you wanted to be around.

There was no way that Grif and Tucker had been talking about him. He was a pale, red head with cyborg parts replacing about half of him. Plus he was socially awkward and a nerd. Who would ever fall for that?

It hurt more than he was willing to admit because Grif was the person he was closest too. He had shared much more of himself and his past with Grif than with anyone else. He trusted him. He didn’t want to watch Grif be with someone else. ‘ _I want him to be with me_.’ The thought shocked Simmons. That was the first time he had openly admitted to himself that he wanted Grif in any other way than as a friend.

The statement didn’t shock him as much as he thought it would though. While it was the first time admitting it, the content of the statement was something he had known for a while.

But why did he have to realise it only after he knew that Grif had feelings for someone else?

Maybe that was why. Things never seemed to go right for Simmons, this was just another thing. He really didn’t want to lose his best friend.

He hung his head as he retreated inside. Maybe one day they could figure it out. At least Simmons hoped so.

The next morning offered a welcome distraction with an unwelcome problem.

Sarge was still attempting to win against gravity, there was still a debate about what to call their band and Simmons had eaten some meth-shrooms after eating spiked cous-cous. While trying to deal with the craziness that was their lives, a couple of unexpected visitors showed up.

It was difficult to keep track of everyone with all the weird and wild things people kept doing. So no one noticed Caboose wondering off. It only became an issue when their visitor approached and informed them that Caboose had fallen over the edge of a cliff. He was fine. Caboose always was.

Grif really couldn’t have cared less about who these people were. He just wanted to go and nap somewhere quiet. He wanted to relax and permanently retire. The first thought that had run through his mind upon seeing them had been ‘ _Please not another adventure. I don’t want to do that anymore_.’

He didn’t even pay attention to their names.

As Washington and Carolina approached and questioned the two Grif had the distinct feeling that another adventure was about to begin.

Crap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me a month but I finally got the next chapter out. The next one should hopefully be out sooner.
> 
> I didn't want to spend too much time on going over the antics on the moon base as I feel that Grif and Simmons probably would have been in an awkward limbo in terms of dealing with what happened.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things turn upside down.

It turns out that their visitors were reporters. Dylan Andrews and Jax to be exact. They answered her questions and told her what they had been through since retiring. It was bittersweet relating that information. On the one hand it was a laugh to recall the ridiculous things they had been through. On the other they had to talk about Church. And that still hurt. It was a sore topic for them all.

However Grif’s worst fears were realised when Dylan pulled out and played a message that Kimball had sent. Church. Why did it have to be Church?

As soon as the message finished Blue team raced out of the base and headed for the ship. The Freelancers followed them to stop them from rushing off. Sarge led the Red team outside to give them a pep talk, excited to get back into battle. Grif wandered over to his cave.

As he entered he sighed and shook his head. He was so sick and tired of adventures, quests, whatever you wanted to call them. He wanted retirement. He deserved retirement. Ranted it hadn’t been the most peaceful, instead being hectic and chaotic but it was in one place. It was still retirement. He didn’t want to go chasing ghosts. Church was gone and this little sideshow would probably prove to be fruitless. He couldn’t even work up the energy to follow the others just to say I told you so. He was just so tired. He wanted to stop, to pause for a moment and enjoy the simple things in life. Like food and sleep.

He knelt down and faced the cave wall, hanging his head. Why did it have to be another adventure? We did they have to get involved in everything?! It wasn’t their job to fix the universe!

He got angrier the more he thought about it. Why was it always them?

For a split second he wondered if he could convince Simmons to stay if he refused to go. Sighing again he knew that would never work. Simmons was too much of a kiss-ass and people pleaser. He would go along with it because the others were for the simple reason of remaining part of the group.

The more he thought about it the more hurt he felt. If he refused to go he would be asking Simmons to choose between him and their friends. And he knew what Simmons would choose. They had known each other long enough. It hurt more than he was willing to admit at the very real possibility that Simmons wouldn’t choose him. Even if he really wanted him to.

He knew deep down that if he refused to go his friends would leave him behind. Church was just too important to them. Despite how many times the guy had died and how much of an arsehole he was, they still all rushed to his aid.

Red team just went along for something to do and for Sarge to claim the superiority of Red team because they had to keep saving Blue team.

And they would so again.

While Grif wallowed and seethed in his cave, Simmons had just completed Red team’s pep talk. He was excited to do something else. He liked being busy, he had found retirement stressful as he wasn’t sure what exactly it was he was supposed to do. And he liked knowing what he was supposed to do.

Red team dispersed and got ready for their next adventure but there was a nagging thought at the back of Simmons’ mind, ‘ _where was Grif?_ ’

It troubled him that Grif wasn’t with them. He knew Grif would take this badly. He had seen Grif get tense during the message from Church. It was also a bad sign that Grif had gone silent and just walked off after it. He hadn’t even protested about the quest to find Church. He had remained silent and just walked out. It normally meant Grif was angry, really angry. That scared Simmons more than he was willing to admit.

He had only seen Grif that angry a couple of times and it was always something he wanted to avoid. Not because he was scared of Grif but because Grif could be extremely stubborn when he wanted to be. He had a feeling that Grif was going to do something they would all regret.

Looking around he noticed the reporter walking off. Maybe she was going to find and talk to Grif.

Although in the back of his mind he had the nagging thought that he should be the one to do that. Not the reporter.

“Simmons! Hop to it soldier, we have a new mission and we must prepare. Help Lopez and Donut load the ship.”

Sarge’s order prompted him into action and he did as he was told. He just hoped the dreading feeling in his gut was wrong.

Dylan turned around and looked back at the Reds and Blues as they prepared to go on another mission. She had noticed Grif go off on his own and her reporter’s instincts were telling her she had made a mistake showing that message. At least as far as Grif was concerned.

For all the reading she had done about the Reds and Blues it was a totally different experience to meet them. Crazy followed them wherever they went but so did tragedy. She just hoped she wasn’t responsible for bringing more of that to them.

She took a deep breath before entering the cave, finding Grif crouched down facing the wall.

Grif heard the footsteps of someone approaching but ignored it and continued grumbling.

“Grif?”

“Go away.” Grif said dejectedly. Why did Church have to reappear? They were all just coming to terms with the loss.

“I, just want to talk.” Dylan replied as she cautiously approached him.

“Well I don’t want to talk to you, or anyone. So make like a tree and fuck off.” Grif stood up but remained staring at the wall.

“I…see you’re upset. Can we talk about why.” Dylan said, carefully choosing her words hoping to defuse the situation. Grif was quick to answer,

“You. That’s why. You show up here, you drop the bomb on us and then everyone goes springing into action. We are supposed to be done. I don’t want to go on another adventure. I don’t want to listen to Sarge. I don’t want to get shot at. I don’t want to shoot at other people. I want to chill. I want to sit and chill.”

“And leave Church to his fate?” Dylan was genuinely curious. From what she had discovered about the Reds and Blues she expected them to be incredibly close-knit. And yet here Grif was ready to abandon one of them. It surprised her, that’s for sure.

“Fuck Church! I spent half my life dealing with his shit! HIS ex-girlfriends, HIS daddy issues, HIS…resurrections! Why can’t he just stay dead?”

It certainly wasn’t what Dylan was expecting but it was cathartic for Grif. It felt good to rant and get some of his anger and resentment out in the open. A pause followed Grif’s rant before Dylan attempted to diffuse the situation,

“I’ve spent a lot of time looking at logs, reading transcripts and talking to eye-witnesses. They all say the same thing about Grif. He’s the lazy one, the one that doesn’t care.”

“Nailed it.”

Dylan slowly approached, “Your actions tell a different story. A story of someone who always answers the call. Who always helps his friends and fights for the greater good. I mean I saw you give Sarge CPR in the Blood Gulch logs. You saved his life. I think your sister is right about you. You care about your friends.”

Grif bowed his head at Dylan’s little speech. He was never going to admit that what she was saying was true. He cared more than he was willing to admit. But he was also tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of running. Tired of having the weight of the universe on his shoulders. He wanted it to stop. He wanted to relax. Spend time with Simmons and chill out. He had had enough and it all came out in that moment.

“YOU DON’T KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT ME LADY! I HATE SIMMONS! I HATE SARGE! I HATE EVERYBODY! PRINT THAT IN YOUR FUCKING PAPER!”

With that he stormed out of the cave.

Grif approached the rest of the group in time to see that they were ready to leave.

“Oh…Look who’s finally graced us with his presence.” Washington commented as he stood in front of the others.

“Where have you been soldier?” Sarge asked.

“Thinking.” Grif replied. He knew this wouldn’t be easy but it was something he had to do.

“Yeah, right!”

“Thinking about food.”

Grif let the insults fly his way before saying his piece, “No. Actually I was thinking that, I quit.”

“Quit what?” Simmons asked. For a moment he couldn’t wrap his mind around what Grif could be quitting. In hindsight it should have been obvious to see coming.

“You. All of you. I quit. I’m not going. I’m staying here.”

“What? You can’t quit. That’s not allowed.” Tucker exclaimed.

“I can do whatever I want. I’m not in the military anymore. I should’ve quit years ago.”

“What about Church?” Caboose asked sad and confused as he watched the scene in front of him unfold.

Grif turned to him, “Let it go Caboose, all of you. He’s been resurrected more times than Jean Grey. It’s getting old.”

“Seriously, dude. You’ve always been selfish but this is bullshit.” Tucker was getting angry. He didn’t understand why Grif didn’t want to go. This was their friend they were talking about.

“I don’t like you. Any of you. But we’ve all known each other long enough, that you should hear it from me first. I’m done.”

With that Grif walked away. He had said his piece. He needed to separate himself from them, even if it was the hardest thing he had ever done. But it was needed. He just couldn’t do it anymore. Dylan was right, he did care. But it was time he put himself first. He was just so tired, and he couldn’t bare to lose someone else.

Caboose didn’t understand what Grif had done. They were all friends and friends supported each other. Friends stayed together, “He can’t, he can’t do that! Someone do something!”

Sarge stepped forward, “Grif! Desertion is punishable by death! So keep going! Desertion means leaving the military, not eating dessert! Seriously Grif, turn around.” His attempts to goad Grif into an argument which would ultimately convince him to come along had failed. Grif ignored him. Grif had always been lazy but he didn’t know how Red team functioned without him.

The others turned and walked towards the ship as Grif walked away. It was obvious that Blue team were angry and the Freelancers were disappointed, but Red team were stunned. They didn’t know what to do. They had never lost a man before. Left them behind, accidentally or on purpose sure but they had never had a member choose to leave.

Simmons stood in stunned silence staring at Grif’s back. Willing him to turn around. Hoping he would change his mind at the last second.

But he didn’t.

Simmons felt his eyes welling up as Grif disappeared from sight.

“Simmons come on. We have to go. Or do you want to be left behind as well?”

Simmons flinched at Tucker’s words and the malice in his voice. Simmons understood both sides. He got why Tucker was angry but he also understood why Grif didn’t want to do this anymore.

Willing his reluctant feet to move he turned around and made his way to the ship.

Jax turned to Dylan, “You know, I liked them better when they were funny.” Dylan turned to Jax and agreed, “Yeah. I hope we didn’t fuck something up.” Although something told her they had done just that.

Once onboard he sat down and tried not to cry. His best friend had just left. Left him, saying he didn’t like him. Grif’s words had been both a pinch to the gut and a stab in the heart. But it also confirmed to him that Grif didn’t feel anything for him. What happened in the storage closet meant nothing. He meant nothing to Grif.

Tears silently fell down Simmons’ cheek as he processed what had just happened. The rest of Red team were strangely quiet. Not even Sarge was barking out orders or insults about Grif. Even Donut was strangely quiet.

Simmons felt terrible about leaving Grif behind. They shouldn’t have done it. They should have made him come along or stayed with him and avoided Blue team problems. Why did everything have to get messed up?

It was then that Simmons realised that they had taken both ships. Grif had no way of getting off the moon. They had stranded him there. Plus the point of the isolated moon they are on was so no one would or could contact them unless they reached out directly. Just like Dylan and Jax has done.

Guilt ran through Simmons and tears fell even harder causing his breath to begin to hitch. They hadn’t just left Grif behind behind they had stranded and abandoned him there.

Back on the moon Grif watched the ships the ships leave. Anger and annoyance running through him, ‘ _Fuck them. I’m going to enjoy my retirement. I earned this. I deserve this._ ’

During the next few days he was determined to do as little as possible. He was determined to enjoy his retirement, the others be damned.

The problem came at night. At night there was even less to do but it was the dreams that troubled him. His deepest fears played out in his dreams. It was where he was good enough, not worth enough. He was too fat, too lazy, too incompetent to be bought along for the journey. His worst dreams were always those that contained Simmons. Since being left alone dreams of the doomed colony transformed into dreams of the moon. Here Simmons would tell him all the worst things that he thought about himself and also relayed his deepest fear. That Simmons not only didn’t return Grif’s feelings but also hated him.

He would often wake up in a sweat over those dreams.

But he determined to make this work. He wasn’t going to go back to them snivelling, even if he wanted to go back.

He would never admit it, but it hurt that his friend left him behind. He knew that he always complained, was lazy and generally avoided work at all costs but he thought he was part of the team.

 All his insecurities raced to the surface the more time he spent alone. The others actions seemed to have confirmed Grif’s worst insecurities.

Deep down Grif hoped that this was something that was fixable if, no when, he encountered the others again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got this chapter out. So things on the moon base haven't been going smoothly. I will skip parts of season 15 as I want to focus on Grif and Simmons.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grif and Simmons have to deal with being apart for the first time

Simmons remained quiet throughout most of the journey to wherever it was the signal to Church’s message had come from. He didn’t feel like talking. He felt too guilty about leaving Grif behind. Every time he tried to think about something else, someone would say something which either remind him of Grif or reminded that Grif wasn’t there. He was so used to having Grif at his side that not having him around was like missing a limb. His absence was notable and Simmons didn’t know what to do.

Throughout the flight to the first relay point no-one spoke to him. Everyone was afraid of setting him off. Additionally it wasn’t hard to hear the sniffles over the radio.

Silence reigned in the two ships as everyone tried to deal with what happened. Church somehow surviving and Grif leaving. It had all happened so fast that none of them had had the time to process it.

The truth was that no matter how bad or how angry they felt, they all knew it would be the hardest for Simmons. Everyone knew that there was something more between the two of them.

Every time Sarge said something or have orders he expected Grif to chime in, throw an insult or complain. He even found himself going to say something to say, sometimes even saying it, but was reminded the orange sim trooper wasn’t there but the silence he got in response. He missed Grif. He just didn’t want the others to know how badly. He could do without the teasing and he knew that it would make him feel worse. Every mention of Grif or his absence sent his guilt skyrocketing.

As the days passed it became a little easier to push those feelings down and focus on the mission at hand. As they travelled the cosmos trying to follow the signal from Church’s message he was able to get closer to his usual self. However Grif’s absence was always felt.

He knew the others felt it too even if their feelings were expressed in either anger or disappointment. Simmons didn’t know which was worse.

One thing he had noticed though was that Caboose had been sticking close to him. Whenever they were in pairs Caboose would go with him. When they were in small groups Caboose joined his group. He didn’t know what to make of it or how he felt about it.

As they travelled from signal point to signal point Simmons began to wonder if he had done the right thing. The search for Church seemed to be an endless goose chase. They went around and around chasing faint traces of the signal. Simmons knew technology and he recognised relays and proxy signals when he saw them.

He began to grow frustrated that they seemed to be going in endless circles. He hoped they would find something soon. He was beginning to wonder if leaving Grif behind and going on this mission was really worth it at all.

One thing that Simmons did notice was that the others had taken to not talking about Grif. Every time something came up that reminded them of Grif or required them to speak about Grif, the subject was quickly changed. This happened most notably when Dylan was asking them about their adventures.

He had also noticed that if they were talking about Grif and he walked into the room the subject would be changed or they would stop talking.

It was the most annoying thing Simmons could think of. While the subject of Grif’s decision hurt it was off limits. They didn’t need to coddle him. He was fine taking about Grif. Really! He was!

He didn’t understand why the others were treating him like that. It would have been easier and better if they had just acted normally. He wanted to act like everything was normal for a little while, even if it wasn’t.

* * *

On the moon Grif found himself growing bored. There was nothing to do and no one to entertain him.

Initially he had relished in the messiness of the base. No one to tell him to clean up or wash up. He loved it! He did whatever he wanted, napped when he wanted and eat when he wanted. No one breathing down his neck and telling him what he should or shouldn’t be doing was brilliant.

But as the days passed all the things that he had been enjoying began to become boring. Doing nothing was great as an act of rebellion. It felt good to do nothing when everyone expected you to do something. But with no one around to scold or challenge him it began to lose its appeal. Part of what had made the ‘doing nothing’ so great was that he had things to avoid doing. He was even forced to partake in quests and missions which made the laziness that much sweeter.

Know he had nothing to occupy his mind. Nothing to make the laziness worth it.

Another problem that arose was that the lack of activity meant that he was left alone with his thoughts.

His fears, his insecurities, his doubts all played on loop in his head. He had no way to escape them, no way to distract himself in his own. And it was starting to get to him.

In an attempt to distract himself from his own thoughts he did the one thing that no one would expect from him. He cleaned. With nothing to do and desperation setting in he cleaned the entire base from top to bottom. He was determined to keep it that way, if only it gave him something to do.

Once that was done he found he was once again without something to do.

More time passed and he found himself talking to himself. He would at first grumble to himself about his situation but then he began to imagine what his friends would say about his situation and what he was doing.

“Damn it Grif! A sack of bricks is more useful than you.” He imagined Sarge saying.

“Come on fat-arse. You can’t lay around all way.” Simmons would say.

“You are such an arsehole! Church is our friend! How could you abandon him!” Tucker yelled at him.

The others also said things to him but much less frequently. Days passed and he began to talk to his ‘friends’ more and more. It gave him something to do and someone to converse with. It made him feel both better and uneasy. Better because he finally had company but uneasy because he knew they weren’t real. He dreaded to think of what would happen if his real friends came back and saw him this way.

Grif sighed as he stared at the ceiling of his room; they would probably tell him that he deserved this for abandoning them.

He tried to sleep but it was becoming more difficult with the voices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter chapter but the next one should be a bit longer. This was written earlier but I kept forgetting to post it. Finally remembered!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simmons tries to deal with being without Grif, while Grif deals with being on his own.

Simmons followed the Reds and Blues to the newest location for Church’s signal. It turned out to be an abandoned outpost from the war. Something terrible had happened, if the bodies everywhere were any indication. The maroon sim trooper felt uneasy in this place. Like they were being watched or followed.

His frustration was also growing as they had yet to find where the message from Church had come from. He was beginning to think that Grif had had the right idea. At least on the moon they had food and shelter.

He followed orders and searched the outpost for something, anything. Grumbling to himself as he did so.

“Man, this sucks…” He muttered as he walked around the outpost.

He tried to avoid looking at the bodies of fallen soldiers. They had clearly died horrific deaths and Simmons didn’t want to think about what, or who, could have done this.

Finding very little, just like all the other places they had visited, Simmons was getting tired and annoyed. It seemed like there was never anything to find. Walking around on his own he felt more alone than ever. Losing Grif was like losing a limb. He didn’t know what to do with himself and he couldn’t rely on his normal banter with Grif to get him through the awkward situations.

One thing was clear from all this, without Grif his social skills were even worse.

He had never realised just how much he relied on Grif for his go-to social interactions. How easy it was to talk to him and how that made it easier to talk to the others. Simmons sighed as he thought about the old saying he remembered hearing years ago – you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.

Safe to say he wanted Grif back. He would never admit it aloud, but he had thought about leaving and going back to the moon. Back to Grif. What was stopping him were Grif’s words before they had left.

“ _I quit…You…I don’t like you. Any of you._ ”

Those word hurt more than Simmons was willing to admit. He had thought of Grif as his best friend for years. He was the person Simmons was closest to. Could it have all been a trick? A way to pass the time as everyone else was either an arsehole or insane? Simmons didn’t want to find out. He didn’t want to face the rejection from Grif again. It was what stopped him from going back.

Instead he focused trying to find Church. It was easier than facing that the most important person to him no longer wanted anything to do with him. The maroon soldier steeled himself as he walked around and made the mental decision to make do without Grif. He could manage without the fat-arse. At least he thought he could. He hoped he could.

Deep down he also knew that the quicker they found Church the sooner they could go back to Grif. He hoped they wouldn’t be too long.

He continued to walk around the outpost looking for anything when he began to hear someone whispering his name. He knew he should never have listened to Tucker about horror movie tropes and their current location.

“Simmons…” The voice called out again. The hairs on the back of neck stood up and he knew he had goosebumps.

“Hello?” Simmons answered. Almost not wanting to hear a reply.

“Siiiimmmooons…Siiimmmmoooonnss.” The voice replied. Simmons began to grow scared.

“Who’s there?” He asked, his voice shaking and fear running through him.

“Siiiimmmmooonnnss…”

“Who’s there?”

“It’s me.”

“AAAAHHHH!!!” Simmons screamed and spun around to find Caboose standing behind him.

“Caboose! You scared the crap outta me!” Simmons could still feel his heart racing. Caboose jumped back a little but remained close.

“SORRY! I TRIED TO WHISPER TO YOU BUT YOU DIDN’T TURN SO I HAVE TO TALK LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME NOW!!!” Caboose yelled quickly running out of breath. Simmons looked around briefly to see if they were alone as his heart was taking its time to calm down.

“Okay! Calm down, calm down Caboose. What are you doing here?” Simmons asked as the fear left him and he realised it was just Caboose messing around. He couldn’t help but wonder why Caboose had chosen to follow him. The two had not spent a lot of time together but they seemed to get on when they did. Maybe that was why.

But who knew with Caboose?

“AH! Hey, I know Tucker said we should split up but I was thinking, maybe we could split up together. You know, because it’s scary!”

Simmons wondered just how long Caboose had been followed but replied, “Yeah, okay.”

The two continued to wander around and explore the place. Caboose didn’t stay quiet long, “What was this place?”

Simmons replied, glad for the distraction, “It was a human settlement before the Alien War. Horrible massacre. No survivors.”

“That must have made so many ghosts.” Simmons felt a smile stretch across his face. Caboose could a bumbling idiot a lot of time but it was moments like this that reminded Simmons that Caboose had quite an innocent mind.

“Well, scientifically speaking there’s no such thing as ghosts.”

“The what…then what happens to you when you die?”

“We just don’t know, probably nothing. Grif would say it’s one of life’s great mysteries.” Simmons sighed longingly as he spoke about Grif. He wondered for a brief moment what Grif was up to at that moment and if he was thinking of him.

“You talk about Grif a lot.” Caboose’s words broke through his train of thought and made him abuse. He also got defensive.

“No!...”

Simmons attempted to deflect away from Grif. He didn’t want this conversation. Let alone with Caboose. His logic may work with Church but it didn’t with anyone else. Once people died they stayed dead. Sometimes all they needed to do was leave and they never came back.

Fear shot up Simmons’ spine at the thought of never seeing Grif again. He shook his head and continued to walk around the place with Caboose.

On the moon Grif was getting frustrated and bored. He had napped as much as he wanted, cleaned the base twice and eaten most of the food.

* * *

Wandering around the base he thought about what he could do. He had done everything that he could think of to do. It was a rare occurrence but he wanted to stay awake. It turned out that even doing nothing could get boring if you did it for too long. Doing nothing didn’t even bring the satisfaction of disobedience that it used to.

As he wandered he passed the other’s rooms. He hadn’t been in them since they had all left. His fingers twitched as he stood in front of Simmons’ room. He had cleaned the entire base and Simmons would hate having a dusty room to come back to.

Grif soon found himself dusting everyone’s rooms as there was nothing else to do.

It had taken most of the day so he decided to nap afterwards.

Waking up he groaned at the thought of nothing to do. With a grunt as he got up he wondered if there was anything else he hadn’t done yet. Grif explores the base and searched all the rooms. Finally in the last storage cupboard he found something. Pulling the supplies out he gleefully carries them outside.

There, he laid out the paints, brushes and volleyballs. He painted the image of his friend’s visors onto each volleyball. Maybe with some form of company, or at least something to talk to, would help.

And it did. At first.

The relief of having something to talk to was immense. Grif was loathed to admit it but he felt better than talking to the volleyballs than talking to himself. Besides he could practice what he could say to the team once he saw them again and say the things he dreamed about saying.

Starting to talk to inanimate objects wasn’t the only extreme thing that Grif did.

His hair kept falling into his face and it was irritating. He had always taken great pride in his hair. It was his way of sticking the middle finger up to military regulations and all the bullshit that he had been through since being drafted. It was also a security. He took pride in its length and it was one of the few things that he took care of.

Now it was a nuisance.

Later that day he stood in front of the mirror and his hands shook. He couldn’t believe he was about to do this but it was initiating him. Plus a small part of him wondered if Simmons would like what he was about to do.

He took a deep breath and with shaky hands reached for the scissors and chopped off a section of hair. He continued cutting until he was satisfied with it.

After he was finished the scissors dropped into the sink with a clang. He looked in the mirror and examined the sloppy haircut. It was easier to deal with and he was sure he would start growing it back once he met up with everyone again.

Time continued passing on the moon and Grif continued to struggle with boredom. Talking to inanimate objects and cutting his hair were just two ways he had attempted to deal with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! Another chapter out. I'm not totally happy with Simmons' part but I'm sorting it out for future chapters. Bit of a pain to get this chapter out but I'm glad it is.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things have gone wrong for the Reds and Blues. Elsewhere in the universe a familiar face makes an appearance

Simmons sat in the small cell and tried to ignore Tucker’s rants. He leaned his head on the cell wall and tried not to focus on how stupid he felt.

Another adventure gone wrong. Because of course it did. They were the Reds and Blues. Everything had to go wrong at some point.

There was nothing that Simmons could do about it now but that didn’t change the fact that he felt stupid and guilty. Stupid because he couldn’t believe they had fallen for a trap, a trap which in hindsight was obvious. Also guilty because Grif had been right. The adventure was a pointless endeavour and may very well result in the deaths of Carolina and Washington or even themselves.

He desperately wanted to go back to the moon. He wished he had never gone on this quest. From the fake message from Church to Doc’s betrayal to Temple’s assassination attempts, it all hurt. Simmons tried not to let it get to him but his anxiety hung heavily over him.

He feared that this time their luck would run out. One mistake too many, one adventure too much, one trip too far. All had led to their possible deaths. Simmons didn’t want to believe that it was going to end this way. Deep down he began to think about all his regrets and things he wished he had done differently.

He thought about Grif and everything he wished he had told him. How he hadn’t regretted the time in the storage closet, how he wished they could be something more and just how much he meant to him. He resolved that if he ever saw Grif again he would tell him everything.

Which was a big if, if Temple got his way.

He let his head fall to the side and looked around the room. Tucker had stopped bitching and was trying to comfort Caboose, Donut was doing…something and he didn’t want to think about Sarge right now.

He knew Sarge had been struggling to cope with peace but he didn’t realise that Sarge was so desperate for someone to fight that he would side with their enemies. And over something as stupid as allowing him to fight again.

Simmons sighed thinking about everything that had happened. Maybe he was that bad of a friend that he couldn’t tell when his friends were hurting.

Emotions had never been the strong point for anyone in their group but he never thought it would never be bad enough to split them up. To split red team up. Let alone turn them against each other.

Simmons sighed again which caught Tucker’s attention.

“Dude could you mope any louder?” Tucker scowled as he stared at Simmons and the pity party he was having for himself. At Tucker’s words anger flared up in Simmons and he stood up as well.

“You’re one to talk. All you’ve done since we were locked in here was bitch. Try coming up with a plan to get us out of here.” Simmons hated how Tucker seemed to be worried about his ego and image more than anything else. He could also feel Tucker’s glare from across the room.

“I’m not the only one who could be making a plan. Instead you’re sat there moping in the corner.”

“At least I tried to point out things were suspicious but you just liked having more sim troopers to talk to. Fed your ego pretty well.” Tucker didn’t want to admit that there was a small part of him that had felt flattered by the whole thing. Plus it allowed them to see more people who had been screwed over by Project Freelancer.

“You fell for it too. You loved it just as much. At least it distracted you from moping about missing your boyfriend.”

Simmons said nothing about the boyfriend remark but his anger was getting the best of him, “Oh please you fell for it much more. And now it may cost Wash and Carolina their lives as well as our own.”

Silence fell as Simmons had spoken the fears of the group – that they had lost Washington and Carolina for good. Tucker deflated at Simmons words and when he spoke it was barely above a whisper, “I know. We fell for it and now our friends may die because of us. I’m aware Simmons.”

Simmons glared at Tucker but allowed himself to calm down, “Then stop moping. We have to come up with a plan to get out of here and rescue them.”

Tucker nodded and everyone fell silent. Simmons was right needed to come up with a plan. They just hoped that their message got to Grif and they could buy enough time for him to get there.

Simmons sat back down in his cell and went back to thinking about Grif. He really hoped that he got their message. But even then, would he come and rescue them? Simmons hoped the answer would be yes.

* * *

Locus sat comfortably in his ship after finishing another job of rounding up his former allies. He hoped it would be enough for people to see he was willing to change.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

An alarm went off as his ship registered a distress signal. He hands straight towards it as fast as he could. He didn’t expect to see what he saw out of the cockpit window. He barely saw it at first but then he saw it…

He blinked a few times and even attempted to wipe the window but sure enough there was a floating helmet…in space.

Sighing he brought the helmet on board. There was only one being in the universe he knew which could do this and only one group it was associated with.

,,Hola.”

Locus sighed as his suspicions were confirmed. Lopez. Of course it was.

“What kind of trouble have the Reds and Blues found themselves in?” He asked knowing he couldn’t leave them after they had vouched for him. They were responsible for his chance at a second chance.

With the go ahead Lopez began to relay everything to Locus and gave him all the coordinates.

Locus sighed again upon hearing the entire story. It amazed him every time. The Reds and Blues were capable of coming together and defeating the likes of him, Felix and Hargrove. Yet they easily fell for simple espionage tricks as pretending to be someone’s friend. How had they not learned from what happened on Chorus?

He placed Lopez in the co-pilot seat and put in the coordinates to the isolated moon the Reds and Blues had been staying on.

Luckily Lopez didn’t have the same incessant need to talk like others in his group and so made his way to the moon fairly quickly. He certainly didn’t expect what he found there.

When he landed there initially no sign of life.

However everything was spotless. No garbage, no messes, everything was tidy and away where it should be. Locus didn’t know what to think. The orange sim trooper he had met had taken great pride in messiness and a general lack of desire to do much of anything. He had expected to see the opposite of what he was seeing now.

He approached the base with caution and walked through it expecting the worse. With everything he had learned about Grif it appeared that something may have happened to him.

Locus rounded a corner and saw a orange armour clad figure. He feared the worse when the figure turned and saw him…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally feel like I'm getting somewhere with this. Two chapters at once. Hopefully I can keep the momentum going. Once I reach the end of s15 I will probably go a bit canon divergent.


End file.
